More Myself

I took a break from blogging, or posting “woe is me” things on the internet. It was necessary, and a lot was changing. Although it’s a never-ending topic, I couldn’t keep talking about pain when there was so much good around me. I needed to step back, take a look, and re-engage in my life.

Since January, a lot has changed. I often got so wrapped up in everything I wasn't. I worried about things I couldn't control. But then I realized, keeping busy, finding passion, and giving were the best things I could have done to be more myself. And, I love writing, so here I am again...

I coached club volleyball from December through June. I had a bunch of studs on my team. Like, a really talented, national championship-title-winning group of 15 year-olds. It’s so interesting going from a player-to-coach perspective, and I learned a lot about coaching. I learned a lot about myself too, and the parts of coaching I like and am good at, and what I don’t like. Likes: teenage girls and connecting with them, helping in general, the game of volleyball, personal development, building confidence. Dislikes: let’s stick to likes.

I like coaching. I think I’m knowledgeable enough about the game, having played it for 15 years, or so. But the part I think I’m best at is communicating. I know you all probably think I’m nuts for enjoying teenage girls, but I really love interacting with them. Hear me out: I think middle and high school girls are super vulnerable and everything in their lives is changing. Pressure and standards, self-induced or from outside sources (society, parents, friends, coaches, colleges, boys), 100 different commitments... I feel for girls, and anyone who knows my story can understand why I empathize so much for teenage girls. Wait- mean girls, get outta here. Everyone else, give me a hug.

So, my point is, I really loved my experience coaching, but I also know now that I want to use my story, my passion for helping and encouraging young girls, for better than them paying me to teach a physical skill. Don’t get me wrong, I think volleyball and team sports teach so many life lessons. But there’s so much more involved in club volleyball than teaching the game- things that happen, that don’t necessarily encourage positive growth. There’s nothing more special than watching their personal evolution, in my opinion, and for them to know you’re there to listen and help them.

So, I’m in the works of developing something along these lines… any ideas, please send them along to a sister.

Enter: coaching high school volleyball. It’s so funny to me that the very thing that sent me into a downward spiral of doom, is also the precise thing that brought me out. It’s sad and amazing to me, at the same time.

My good friend hounded me (in an absolute wonderful, sincere way!) for weeks about coaching with her. Wishy-washy for weeks, I finally heard her out. “We could do great things for these girls,” she said. And I knew she didn’t only mean volleyball. Her and I have always been on the same wave-length in our lives. The things we went through taught us similar lessons, and so our perspectives became very similar.

I heard her out and decided this is what I wanted to do. The closer we get to our season starting, and the closer we get to each other and knowing what we want for our program, the more motivated and eager I get. I’m excited to just be myself, for the high school girls. I think we are valuable to this age group, and I am looking forward to using our skills and experiences to give these kids perspective, and work ethic, and love, and trust. If I can continue teaching my own stubborn self these lessons, I can only hope I can throw some of it out into the rest of the world.

#life